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accused of misappropriated funds

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arb-75 View Drop Down
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Joined: 04/June/2018
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  Quote arb-75 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: accused of misappropriated funds
    Posted: 04/June/2018 at 13:01
Hi please be kind as i am new and will try and provide as much details as possible. i have sought legal advice but i am still very worried and the advice was not very clear to say the least. I am going up against a narcissist who only cared for him self never my father. His whole interest in this is money and making me suffer due to his jealousy because my Father and i were very close.

3 years ago dad became sick and it was deemed necessary by his doctors for him to either be placed in assisted living or reside with family as he was unable to undertake full care of him self physically. He had three adult sons, one he never spoke to, one resided 6 doors down and the last son lived interstate.

The son who lived 6 doors down refused to except responsibility or entertain the idea of care for him ( this was on many occasions not just this time ) so I, the son who lived interstate stepped up and relocated dad to My home. Part of this relocation was the disposal of the house dad had lived in for sometime and owned outright. The funds from the sale of the house got given to Dad and Dad decided to build an extension onto My home it was for Dad to live in for the remainder of his life. Due to Dad living on my property he insisted on paying me "rent" for the extension, not wanting to take the "rent" I devised a plan that would benefit all involved. I set up a direct debit from Dads everyday ( pension) account via ongoing transfer and returned the "rent money to dads savings in another account held by him. but with out his knowledge of the money being returned.This was done so dad felt like he was paying his way. The remainder of the funds dad received he spent on things he chose to, such as furniture, computer, holidays, general spending as he wished.

forward 3 years Dad was again fallen gravelly ill and relocated to a city's major hospital. I spent months of my time during this time travelling from My home to the city to assist in his care ( hundreds of km away ). This meant loss of wages as each stay would be weeks at a time, cost of food, cost of travel to and from, leaving my wife and child behind. Dad did get better but required the care of the major hospital and with the assistance of his doctors we agreed that Dad would benefit from living in an environment that was both assisted living and independent at the same time. To facilitate this and set dad up in his new unit, I again took time off from work traveled the hundreds of km back to my home to retrieve Dads possessions and set up his new unit. Dad lived in this environment for approximately 1 1/2 years before he took a fall and broke his leg resulting in another hospital stay. It is this hospital stay that Dad became extremely ill again and spent the remainder of his life in hospital.

approximately 7 days before Dad passed My brother who refused to care for him and had very little time for Dad came to the hospital upon hearing Dad may not get better and was possibly in his final stages of life. During this visit he demanded to sight a copy of Dads will as we are both named as executor. The will was handed to him so he could see what Dads wishes were. It is at this point he demanded a meeting/chat with me over assets. Please keep in mind dad was still alive and could have recovered.

The following day My brother and I sat to discuss Dads final wishes My brother who is now making trouble had a list of questions regarding money and how much Dads estate is worth. upon hearing how much Dad had in his bank account ( $9,600) he became quite nasty, he demanded that I sell My house complete with extension that Dad built to reimburse his share of the extension. when this was met with a firm NO he became angry and refused to further entertain that Dad spent his money as he wanted to.

Once he was told NO and i refused to entertain the sale he flew home the following day. it was the day after he arrived home he sent a text message to state " I will not be attending the funeral, you can have the lot. I want nothing to do with any of it, do not contact me again for any reason as i will not respond" Dad passed away 4 days later.

Once dad passed and the funeral was organised and over, I as one of the executors began to make arrangements to pay out any and all debits. this was finalized a few days ago with out any help from the other executor as per his statement in writing. As soon as my brother ( co executor) who wiped his hands of Dad and the estate received his rightful inheritance as stated in Dads will. He again became angry regarding the amount he received. I received an email from him demanding bank statements. The reason given is misappropriated funds. The funds he refers to are the money Dad received from the sale of his house 3 years prior to his death. the sum Dad received from the sale of his home was not an overly large sum it was well under $300,000

My question is can he as one of the executors now claim funds that dad spent while he was still alive? Dad spent his money as he wished and at his discretion. he lived and died in QLD

My understanding is the "misappropriated funds he is claiming is the money I used from Dad for the list stated below.

* I used Dads money to travel to and from my home to assist dad while he was in hospital, this included food, fuel, loss
     of wages as i still had bills to pay not to the extreme but basic bills Mortgage, power, phone.   

* I used Dads money to retrieve Dads belongings to set up his new unit, This included fuel, deposit for unit, rental for the
    truck used to move etc.

Can the funds i used from Dad now be classed as "misappropriated funds"
How do i prove the funds i used while assisting dad during his time in hospital were in fact used to assist him. I did not spend any money on privileges to better my self or my family.

Also my Brother has stated he does not believe that Dad spent Majority of his money as he wished and is demanding that I prove this to be the case. Can he do this?

Thank you and sorry its so long.



goingbonkers View Drop Down
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Joined: 11/September/2009
Location: Australia
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  Quote goingbonkers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06/June/2018 at 23:04
One thing I don't recall seeing is if you had power of attorney?
Also was the extension meant to be a gift to you?

The travel costs seem small fry compared to $300,000 plus pension that have been consumed in 3 years?

I would say if you were paying you mortgage from your fathers funds without written permission you have placed yourself in a bad position.

Regardless of your intent I'm not sure how a judge might view it.
The judge will likely ignore your Will, and give your savings to whoever they think should have it'http://changefpa.com.au

arb-75 View Drop Down
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Joined: 04/June/2018
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  Quote arb-75 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07/June/2018 at 09:16
thank you for your reply.

Dad never had a power of attorney.

Yes the extension was a gift. Dad had stated this me and to various friends of his. The building permits, plumbing bills, builder bills etc everything regarding the extension was placed in my name. Before the building even began and dad had decided to build we approached my lawyer and dad had stated what his intentions were. this was done because i had fears my brother would do something like this. The lawyer advised that if it was in my name that my brother had no claim to the gift. I have also been advised that during many conversations Dad had with his friends he mentioned that he had gifted me the extension so i am in the process of getting statements written by his friends to state what Dad had spoken about and what Dads intentions were.

The amount was well under $300.000 it was nowhere near that amount. I was reluctant to place the exact amount. The extension used a little more than half of his total from the house. The bank statements confirm this. I have bank statements in most cases stating Dad spent thousands and i do stress thousands on various things he felt he wanted to spend on This includes cash withdrawals from atm. I honestly had no idea he was withdrawing cash at that frequency and amounts. I also have a diary showing some of the payments that i made to Dad via cash payments, Dad initialed next to the payments to pay back the money I used while assisting him but sadly not all.

what is truthfully making me angry is not that i have to prove anything its that my father has been shown so much disrespect during his life from his own child and that, that same child can not even show up for his own fathers funeral because there was nothing in it for him from his own words. Its now only about the money. I would give everything including my own life to have Dad back for 1 hr. and i guess thats the difference between us I cared for others He cared for him self.

goingbonkers View Drop Down
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  Quote goingbonkers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/June/2018 at 17:08
Only time will tell how this plays out but without agreements in writing you are going to blow a lot in lawyers fees.
From here on in keep a record of EVERYTHING. Every phone call, sms everything with dates etc. If this goes to court records count for a lot. What you think is right and fair, not so much.
The judge will likely ignore your Will, and give your savings to whoever they think should have it'http://changefpa.com.au

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