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Objecting to FVRO

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Iago View Drop Down
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  Quote Iago Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Objecting to FVRO
    Posted: 01/February/2019 at 10:36
I left my ex last April and moved out in July. Since then things have been relatively amicable, 50/50 access. Unfortunately after Christmas things deteriorated. She lives in the same street as me and one evening I went and knocked on her door, no response so I used a spare key to try and get into the garage to get some items which we were in dispute over. I couldn't get access and left after 5 mins. Stupid and regrettable thing to do, she was in the house at the time (I didn't realise) and could see me on the security cameras. That was the first incident of any kind since separating. She was obviously freaked out and scared. The police arrived yesterday with a FVRO. It states we are allowed contact via email, sms and facetime but only regarding the kids. She has been emailing me the last 24 hours regarding the kids. I haven't responded as I'm fearful of breaching the FVRO. Should I be objecting to this order. I've never displayed any signs of violence towards her. If so is it a complex process? What are the chances of my objection being successful.

What is a misconduct restraining order.

Edited by Iago - 01/February/2019 at 10:37

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  Quote Iago Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01/February/2019 at 16:34
In the last 4 days she has called 3 times, facetimes 5 times and emailed 12 times. Since I received the FVRO, I've received 3 emails, all demanding a reply

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  Quote citizen-joe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01/February/2019 at 19:03
Report her actions to the police, she has to conform to the order also.

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  Quote jaazzz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01/February/2019 at 23:13


You should have been given a first mention date when the orders were served...At that appearance you can either accept the order, accept without admissions, or oppose it.

Was it a private application for a FVRO by your ex or was it done by police on her behalf?.. If done by police, it will be represented by a police prosecutor in court. If a private application, she will represent herself unless she engages a lawyer...

Either way, if you oppose it a court date will be set for a hearing... My own personal experience with this many years ago was that the applicant repeatedly adjourned the hearing date, & then 11 months later withdrew the application a week before the hearing.. Of course the interim order has the same restraining effect as a confirmed oreder for that whole period... End result was she never had to face up to court to support her lies... No consequences followed..

If you accept the order, just make sure that the terms of it are acceptable to you in so far as the children are concerned, & make sure it has an end date.

Originally posted by Iago

It states we are allowed contact via email, sms and facetime but only regarding the kids.....What is a misconduct restraining order.

As her contact with you has been within the allowed criteria & relates to the kids, then I can't see why you shoudn't just respond.. By all means keep records of all contact..

A misconduct RO usually applies to restraining a person that you are not in a familial relationship with


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Iago View Drop Down
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  Quote Iago Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02/February/2019 at 13:30
Originally posted by jaazzz



You should have been given a first mention date when the orders were served...At that appearance you can either accept the order, accept without admissions, or oppose it.

Was it a private application for a FVRO by your ex or was it done by police on her behalf?.. If done by police, it will be represented by a police prosecutor in court. If a private application, she will represent herself unless she engages a lawyer...

Either way, if you oppose it a court date will be set for a hearing... My own personal experience with this many years ago was that the applicant repeatedly adjourned the hearing date, & then 11 months later withdrew the application a week before the hearing.. Of course the interim order has the same restraining effect as a confirmed oreder for that whole period... End result was she never had to face up to court to support her lies... No consequences followed..

If you accept the order, just make sure that the terms of it are acceptable to you in so far as the children are concerned, & make sure it has an end date.

Originally posted by Iago

It states we are allowed contact via email, sms and facetime but only regarding the kids.....What is a misconduct restraining order.

As her contact with you has been within the allowed criteria & relates to the kids, then I can't see why you shoudn't just respond.. By all means keep records of all contact..

A misconduct RO usually applies to restraining a person that you are not in a familial relationship with




Ok thanks for that information. Based on what I've said, do you know what the chances are of my objection being successful. I tried to get into the garage initially, not the house. She had ample time to call the police, but didn't and instead called her best friend who I think encouraged her to get a FVRO.

I got a copy of the avadavat and in it it states the incident, which she describes more or less as it happened, then it describes in 3 other separate boxes other incidents and dates, presumably so they can see a pattern.

box 1 - the incident 26 jan 2019
box 2 - multiple abusive SMS messages by myself (we had separated but were living together) 18 aug 2018
box 3 - I grabbed her by the throat. This isn't true. I'm an 85kg rugby player and she's 55kg. We had a party with 20+ guests, she wasn't visibly upset or have any marks on her. She got in my face and I pushed her away. Irrespectively it's my word vs her word. This incident occurred back in dec 2007 and was the only physical incident in our 17 year relationship.

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  Quote Iago Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02/February/2019 at 13:32
It was a private FVRO.

So in theory, she can just keep on adjourning the hearing for months, is that an infinite amount of time?



Edited by Iago - 02/February/2019 at 13:37

jaazzz View Drop Down
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  Quote jaazzz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02/February/2019 at 16:19

Being a private application, a magistrate may be a bit less tolerant of repeated adjournments & draw a line. Basically either support your allegations in court or withdraw... If that may happen & how long it may take is anybody's guess..

The incident form 12 years ago is a bit of a stretch to add into this current application...

Look, you know in your own mind whether you think this application is justified or not.... If it's justified I recommend accepting without admissions.

You also know her & what she may be likely to do if you oppose it... Some adjourn for as long as possible, some try to provoke another incident... It will lead to another level of tension until it's resolved one way or another so factor that in as well...

End of the day, as long as you can continue to communicate effectively regarding the kids, there is an end date & also some provision to communicate via a mediator or such to sort out property matters if needed, & it doesn't effect your work, then accepting without admissions shouldn't cause you any major disadvantage...

Any opinion given should not be accepted as legal advice.

Please post your legal questions in a forum rather than sending a PM. Thanks

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  Quote Iago Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02/February/2019 at 17:57
Ok thanks very much for your help.

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  Quote Iago Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02/February/2019 at 18:33
The court will make a violence restraining order if it is satisfied that (a) the Respondent has committed an act of abuse against the Applicant and the Respondent is likely again to commit such an act against them or (b) the Applicant reasonably fears that the Respondent will commit an act of abuse against them and that the making of a violence restraining order is appropriate in the circumstances.

Surely that doesn't apply to my situation? Yes she was scared, but there were no previous threats of violence emails or anything. All I wanted was my treadmill.

Edited by Iago - 02/February/2019 at 18:46

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  Quote jaazzz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02/February/2019 at 23:29

It really would depend on the magistrate hearing the evidence, & whether or not on the balance of probabilities s/he decides to err on the side of caution & have the order confirmed..

Magistrates seem to be fairly reluctant to throw out an application these days if the applicant really feels they need the order... They only have to establish that an incident did indeed occur (which you have already admitted to) & allege that your actions, no matter how minor they may seem to you, have given them cause to be fearful of future events

As I explained earlier, you alone know if it's warranted in any way given the circumstances... If you don't believe it's warranted in any way, then oppose it... If you accept that perhaps you did something foolish that has lead to this, then consider accepting without admissions, & be very careful that you are not provoked into, or behave in a way that will breach the conditions...



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  Quote Iago Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03/February/2019 at 19:58
Ok my Mum spoke to her and she is open to other options. She is stating I have been harrassing her, I showed my Mum 2 months of SMS exchanges between us which were very friendly, so that's crap, but anyway she is saying she wants me to leave her alone and I want her to leave me alone. Is there an alternative to a VRO that will give her assurance I won't bother her?

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  Quote Iago Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03/February/2019 at 20:42
https://www.legalaid.wa.gov.au/sites/default/files/Undertakings_in_restraining_order_proceedings.pdf

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  Quote jaazzz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03/February/2019 at 23:15

An undertaking is an option ONLY if the applicant is agreeable..

You can offer to enter into one at the first mention, however a magistrate would probably want the applicant to seek further advice before accepting an undertaking.. That normally involves talking to a FV officer to hear her reasons for not wanting a FVRO, that she has not been coerced into it, threatened etc..

To that point, you want to be careful that your mother isn't seen to be coercing her into this, it has to be her decision...

Also check the conditions of your FVRO...Sometimes they have restraints on others talking to the applicant on your behalf, especially being family.. be careful

Good Luck



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Please post your legal questions in a forum rather than sending a PM. Thanks

Iago View Drop Down
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  Quote Iago Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04/February/2019 at 11:52
I'm getting concerned she is trying to entrap me and get me to breach, Yesterday was our first drop off with the kids since the FVRO was taken out. I just assumed she'd park outside, but she pulled up into the drive and walked into the house with the kids and tried to engage me in conversation. Considering what I have to lose, my freedom, potentially job, house, kids, I'm sh!t scared and very intimidated. Not physically, just by what can happen if I breach. is there anything I can do, to stop her constantly emailing me. I want zero contact with her, as I don't trust her at all.

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  Quote Iago Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04/February/2019 at 17:11
Is there an avenue for mediation where I can discuss with her the chances of dropping this. A meeting with her and her lawyer or something? We both want the same thing, to be left alone. We don't both need to pay $20k to get this.

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  Quote jaazzz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04/February/2019 at 20:46
Originally posted by Iago

...she pulled up into the drive and walked into the house with the kids and tried to engage me in conversation.... I'm sh!t scared... by what can happen if I breach. is there anything I can do, to stop her constantly emailing me. I want zero contact with her, as I don't trust her at all.

It's possible you are beginning to make this more complex than it needs to be... I don't know what the idea of $20K each relates to?

Zero contact would be foolish in the circumstances...You want to keep the channels of communication that are allowed open, ie, text, email, facetime in issues to do with the children. Can't see how stopping that would benefit anybody, least of all you.

If it were me, I would send her an email Inviting her to please read the conditions that the current interim FVRO places on you..... Explain that when she walks into your home & engages you in direct conversation, knowingly or unknowingly she is placing you in a position of breaching the conditions...

Please restrict all future contact to the channels that I must abide by, & only in relation to the kids...
Originally posted by Iago

Is there an avenue for mediation where I can discuss with her the chances of dropping this. A meeting with her and her lawyer or something? We both want the same thing, to be left alone. We don't both need to pay $20k to get this.

Nothing stopping you from calling one of the many mediation centres available.. Make an appointment. They will call her inviting her to participate.. If she accepts, mediation can take place. It will probably be carried out by a mediator visiting each of you in separate rooms, back & forth to see if some common ground can be found & a way forward...

The cost would not be great, & would be much better than $400 an hour with her solicitor, representing her interests first & foremost..

Perhaps an ideal outcome would be that you both agree to enter into an undertaking with the court with whatever conditions that you both find agreeable






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  Quote Iago Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06/February/2019 at 11:36
OK thanks. That could be an option.

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  Quote Iago Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06/February/2019 at 16:42
I spoke to a mediation agency and apparently mediation agencies only deal with family and financial/property matters rather than VROs.

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  Quote jaazzz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06/February/2019 at 21:39

True most deal predominantly with parenting/financial matters. You might need to do a bit of ringing around to find one... End of the day, if they call & invite her to attend, she can say no & that's the end of it for them, however IF she wants to look at an alternative to the current FVRO, she may agree.. As long as you are in separate rooms, there shouldn't be a problem from their standpoint..

If you can't find one to do it then you're really only left with suggesting an undertaking as an alternative at your first mention & see if the magistrate puts it to her or not..




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  Quote Iago Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08/February/2019 at 15:02
OK cool thanks.

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