4 Comments Family & de facto law, financial agreements, consent orders
I agree with jimmyMcGill.... Based on the limited facts, a 70/30 split would seem reasonable...
If you are considering a court application, also consider seeking interim spousal maintenance to help with financial support pending a resolution to property matters. Your solicitor should have some idea whether it is possible in your case.
That may incentivize the other side to move toward a settlement sooner rather than later.. If a court application is made (and it's probably the quicker approach if the other side is showing no interest in moving or compromise) there will be ample opportunities to mediate an outcome before it goes before a judge for a decision.. Over 90% of cases are settled by consent sometime between applying for orders, & the need to have a judge decide..
I have recently reached an agreement with my ex after 18 months of hostility, manipulations and anger all round. It was a horrible process and I was absolutely certain that I would not get the 50 per cent my lawyer said I was entitled to. No way did my ex want to pay that. He wanted sixty per cent or preferable everything after 27 yrs of marriage. I was a stay at home mother with 2 special needs children and he worked. He worked hard, but so did I. He held the view that my work was less valuable than his.
he bullied me endlessly, wanting me to take less or swearing he would go to court and win. I didn't know anything, I started to beleive him, I thought it was hopeless, I thought he would win.
Fortunately the law does not see it the way he does. I had a very good lawyer who waived the fee until settlement. My ex dragged his feet and made low offer after offer. Then we went to mediation. It cost a lot but it was well worth it. His lawyer was just going through the motions and doing whatever my ex told her to do. But the mediating barrister spoke very plainly and simply to him pointing out his beliefs were irrelevant, and that if we ended up in court I would probably get 60% plus costs. My lawyer was excellent too. We spent a tense morning but came away with a 50/50 split.
Based on this experience I would say to you, stand your ground. Don't be put off by his antics. Get a good lawyer and listen to their advice. You and your husband have a child, whether he wants it or not, it's here, and he has a legal obligation to support it. Full stop, end of story. You must hold out for what the law says you are entitled to because otherwise you could find yourself alone and struggling with a young child and financially going down the drain.
I did not want a fight, but I also did not want him telling me my contribution was of no value. That just wasn't on and I was prepared to accept the ref's call. So again, fight for yourself and your child. He cannot walk away from this, regardless of what he 'wanted'. This is not malicious or vindictive, this is about getting what you are entitled to. Wishing you the very best of luck.
Thank you Bluegreen for sharing your experience with your ex. Sounds like it was quite the battle you had to endure but Iâ€™m glad he didnâ€™t take majority of the asset pool in the end.
I find it disgusting how men think they are entitled to more because they contributed more financially and disregarding all the work their wife puts in at home. And then to disregard the future needs when they can start a new life so much easier than a woman ever can.
I hope my lawyer is good... itâ€™s hard to tell at the moment as itâ€™s useless solicators letters back and forth stating contributions ( financial and non financial) and establishing the asset pool as he is trying to undervalue his assets and overstate mine!
I hope this can be settled outside of court but if he wants 50/50 I think I will just tell my lawyers we are going to court and Iâ€™ll be going for 70/30 split.