35 Comments Criminal law, traffic matters, DUI, assault, theft, fraud
I do not expect any charge will be made against you, on the information you have given here, however you don't know for sure what was said by her at the hospital, or what the interpretation of the attending police officer was.
Police and fire service were called so there may be some repercussions there, in terms of a bill, but it again will depend on the investigating officers report.
You need to to consider your relationship, these sort of events point to one that is in serious trouble, a visit to a counselor to help you sort out whats right for you, the counselor may wish you to invite your partner along to a subsequent visit, but that will depend on the discussion they have with you.
You might like also to consider making your move from the apartment permanent, counselor could be of assistance.
Lifeline or Relationships Australia are two agencies you could use, there may be others in your area.
I panicked and did not know what to do. My train of thought was that any action on my behalf could cause her to jump. I was really horrified by this. I have not been contacted by the police since this incident. I talked to my partner on the phone yesterday and she said she was contacted by protection services to obtain an AVO against me. She did not proceed with that as far as I know. Can they get an AVO for her anyway, without her signature? Can I go back home after a couple of days? She seems to have come back to her senses.
Also, I should mention that she is a visitor in Australia on a Tourist Visa. I was planning on getting married to her and sponsoring her. Should I drop those plans? What happens if she continues to press this issue and her visa expires (Dec 09)? I surely wouldn't want to sponsor her visa if she is pressing charges against me.
How can I check if there in an AVO in effect?
Unfortunately the police in this instance will make a decision on the AVO regardless if your partner wants it or not.
My advice to you my friend is to get out of this realtionship ASAP. Organise your things and move out the quicker the better.
Considering what has happened you now no longer have a basis for a healthy relationship and certainly not a marriage if you went down that path.
Perhaps contact the police to obtain an update. Even if they proceed with the AVO I doubt you will be charged for anything else since you didn't hit her. The AVO isn't a criminal record but I'd be certainly pushing for the fact that she is not mentally stable which was obvious in the fact she chose to dangle off a balcony to blackmail you.
Get away from her ASAP
The police asked me to come in for an interview. They showed me pictures of my partner with a bruise on her back. Apparently she told the police that I hit her. I chose not to speak or comment about it although I do think that she had gotten that bruise from dangling off the balcony. They did not charge me but gave me a court hearing date for the AVO next week. This is done automatically they said. Will they charge me at a later time? I spoke to a lawyer and he said that they usually charge you on the first interview. Where is this going?
Yes MartinO, I am actively following the advice from others here. However, this really brings uncertainty and stress to my life. I am waiting to become an Australian Citizen and really did not want to be near a situation like this - let alone be served with an AVO. How will this effect my application for Citizenship?
Not going to help you,that's for sure.Maybe try and be one step ahead and gather some character refs from community members of good standing.If you ever get into a heated argument again with a loved one,or anyone else for that matter,the best course of action is to bite your tongue and remove yourself from the situation.Go book into a motel for a few nights or stay with friends.
Just read through the Aussie Citizenship form and it does not specifically ask for AVOs. Just charges, convictions and guilty pleas. I am hoping I will not be charged with anything.
THIS EXTRACT IS TAKE FROM THE APPLICATION OF CITIZENSHIP:
If you are aged 18 years or over, please answer the following questions:
(a) Have you been convicted of, or found
guilty of, ANY offences overseas or in
Australia (include all traffic offences
which went to court, including offences
declared in your permanent residence
application, and any â€�spentâ€™ convictions)?
(b) Have you been confined in a prison or in
a psychiatric institution by order of a court
made in connection with criminal
proceedings overseas or in Australia?
(c) Have you committed, or been involved in
the commission of war crimes or crimes
against humanity or human rights
overseas or in Australia?
(d) Are you presently under a probation order,
good behaviour bond, on parole, released
on licence or subject to periodic detention
overseas or in Australia?
(e) Are you aware of any proceedings
pending against you overseas or in
Australia for an offence, including
proceedings by way of appeal or review?
(f) Have you ever been involved in any
activity, or been convicted of any offence,
relating to the illegal movement of people
to any country (including Australia)?
(g) Have you ever been charged with any
offence overseas or in Australia that is
currently awaiting legal action?
(h) Have you ever been associated with
terrorist organisations or involved in
acts of terrorism overseas or in Australia?
I think (e) may apply.Best thing to do i think is to appear in court with a lawyer to represent you.The AVO will only be granted if the judge thinks your girlfriend is in genuine danger.What's her current position,is she sticking to her story and pushing for the order?.If you don't show at court they may go ahead and grant the order.
Assault charges are classed as "criminal" matters under the law, the fact that the police didn't charge you on the first interview is a positive sign. "AVO's" are treated as "civil" matters so in theory even if you agree to the AVO in court you should be fine regarding your citizenship. The biggest problem is possible assault charges as they are the only component that could lead to a criminal convinction that may hinder your citizenship. As someone said before, get some character references as a backup plan if you need them. The fact the police didn't charge you indicates they dont have the evidence to do so so I suggest you continue to make no statements to them and listen to the advice of your solicitor.
Thanks for injecting some hope in me, Pimpek. The police in fact mentioned it to me after the interview that there are no charges because of lack of evidence, although they did have pictures of my partner with bruises etc in their possession. I thought I was lucky to be let go at the time because they did mention assault to me over the phone before the interview. My lawyer thinks that it is unlikely for them to charge anyone at a later time unless the police is called again to my house with another domestic situation. If that happens again, they would skip the interview and proceed with the arrest, the police told me.
... which is why you need to move out of your place and go live somewhere else. This person you are with is very unstable and will almost certainly use the police again to try and manipulate you. Whatever feelings or obligations you have, you need to put them aside and use common sense. Dont expose yourself to more problems as she clearly isn't worth the dramas .....
I would go so far as to make sure you are never alone with this woman again without reliable witnesses. In the first case regarding the bruises it was her word against yours. Do not put yourself in the situation of it being her word against yours again. In my experience police are not immune to seemingly helpless and distraught women having them feel sorry for her.
If what you say is true (and I only have your word here as well) this woman is unstable and needs professional help. YOU are not the person best equipped for that job. Organise to move your things with witnesses and be prepared to not see her again. If you didn't provoke this dangling off the balcony with any verbal or physical threats her behaviour was irrational and histrionic and I very much doubt it will be a one off.
What will she do if you tell her it's over? Has she said to you she does not want to see you again and even if she has, is she expecting you to go beg her not to leave?
Let us know how it goes.
MsBrown, the last time I broke up with her, she just "hung out" outside my apartment for days in a row. When I tried to move my things, she just followed me around the city. I believe that if I break up with her again, at the very least she is going to try and stop me from moving my things or she will just go to my relatives' house and cry and ask for my new address. The best thing I would imagine is to try and send her back to USA (that's where she is from originally). Her visa is expiring soon and I am hoping she is smart enough not to overstay. But I think she will overstay and cause me further distress. I do not know what to do.
Toofan, if what you say is true, perhaps you should inform the police of all this if you haven't already.
They may be of some help, perhaps contacting her Relies in the states.
Just seems to me your in for a load of grief if you can't break contact with her. And for her own good, maybe it would be a good idea as well
Just to add something here, a lot of people are making false domestic violence complaints as a way to get a Residency here. Its a sad situation, but many people are manipulating the law to their own advantage. Im not saying thats whats happening here, but just be aware there might be a plot here.
Also being a man puts you in a lose-lose situation here...you need to be very careful.
You may want to get in contact with one of the mens rights groups, they have lawyers that are very experienced in this area and can give very good advice.
brandons 2009-11-02 18:44:24
[QUOTE=toofan21] I will let immigration pick her up instead. Not sure how long it takes immi to notice illegal immigrants. Heard it can be years before they take action. Maybe I will help them.[/QUOTE]
Personally, I would let the police contact immigration about her if they see fit.... I would keep arms length as much as possible if I were you
DV claims are very tricky because it all comes down to your word versus hers - as was mentioned in a previous post. She sounds like she is quite unstable, as I'm sure you've worked out for yourself, so you need to tread very carefully. Perhaps don't tell her that you are breaking up with her but need a few weeks or days to think things over. Then go around when she isn't there and collect your things - with another witness in tow so that your covered if she comes home or is waiting for you in the dark! Immigration won't find out about her for ages unless she is reported - so report her. Don't leave it to someone else to do it as it won't get done and she will likely overstay for a long time before someone from Immigration bothers looking into it. Remember, you can remain anonymous if you are afraid of her finding out that it was you who reported her.
If she engages in anymore stalker behaviour, save the text messages and document all her odd behaviour. Also make your friends and relatives aware of the situation so they know better than to fall for her manipulation techniques. But most importantly, report her behaviour to the police if she does stalk you again as its very important to cover yourself.
Toofan21 ..... a lot of people have given you great advice here so please use some common sense, a bit of strategy, but more importantly I think you need to have it on the record what you have told us here by at least making sure either the police or your solicitor have some idea to the background of this person. You need to try and keep your distance from her and make sure you have credible witnesses to back you up if needed. Im taking a guess here but I have a feeling that your dramas with her are going to escalate the closer it comes for her to return to the US ..... she will probably do anything to stay here. You may want to take out an AVO against her for stalking you but check with your solicitor first ....
Thanks for all the advise. Got a call from the Police yesterday - they are unable to reach her on the phone and give her a copy of the AVO to appear in court tomorrow. So they called me and asked where she was. I did not know either. I guess she won't be coming in since she intentionally did not take the phone calls. Will the AVO go ahead even if she does not appear? I am not going to consent to the AVO - but what does that do to the court's decision? Will there be another hearing date?
Depends on what the police prosecutor requests. Usually the magistrate will listen to them.
The magistrate wont dismiss it on first mention. They will give the police another attempt to contact her so no doubt you will need to attend court a second time.
If she fails to attend the next mention then its a high chance the magistrate will throw it out of court .....
So far their failure to locate her is going to go in your favour.
Keep us posted.
WOW, the plot thickens. I hope you are documenting everything and have alibis. Do not go anywhere near the place she lives without a credible witness. I had a girlfriend once that needed to collect things from a former residence and she was able to take a police officer with her. I'm not sure how it was organised. Maybe a 3rd party with a video camera is sufficient.
The stalking behaviour needs addressing, make sure your relatives know and try to contact her own relatives with your concerns. It sounds like she really needs help.
Did you meet here or come together to Australia?
Had my AVO hearing today and she popped up at the last minute claiming that she does not want to proceed with the AVO and that she will agree to counseling. The prosecutor seemed to agree with that and have adjourned to next month when we have to present a letter from a counselor that we are seeking help.
Get away from her and never have anything to do with her again. You're lucky that it's just your citizenship that she's endangering. Imagine if it where your children.
Make rational choices. A little bit of heart ache now will spare you from something that will destroy you in a decade's time.
Get out now!