by Sam  16/09/2020  0 Page Views
1 Comments  Family & de facto law, financial agreements, consent orders

Separated a year ago. I'm always been the main income person because my ex had motivation problems and struggled to commit to work. I always had a nanny or child care in place when the kids were younger so he's never really had to care for the kids as such. My income is $100k - $140k which I know is decent but a large amount of my income goes to the mortgage that I had to fully take out on the house I live in because my equity is tied up in the other house. He's still in the family house. We need to sell it but it needs some work and he just isn't getting anything done. I have one child 50% and the other 80%. He can work but chooses not to though I'm not too worried about this as we separated over his declining mental health and emotional abuse. I work 2 jobs to meet my mortgage payments and living expenses. Once we sell the house, I will probably drop the second job because I'm exhausted but my mortgage costs will go down substantially so that will be fine.

I pay him child support. Not a huge amount but it's around $200 pw. We do private collection with the Child support and I pay him diligently every week because I'm somewhat of a rule follower and I do what CSA tells me to.

I just don't know what is fair though.  I also pay 100% of school fees, school supplies, uniforms, clothing, majority of gifts, sports fees (about $1500-$2000pa), all mobile costs and $40pw allowance between them. I also let him have access to the Netflix and Stan that I pay for so the kids have it at his place.

Question I have is, would I be unfair to ask him to contribute to the costs and fees I pay for? And if I did ask, should I be asking in line with our care percentage - eg 50% for one and 20% for the other? I worry that if I work it out on a weekly basis and take it from the child support I pay, he might turn around one day and tell CSA I've short-changed him even though we've agreed to do it that way.

My first marriage ended when my first born was only weeks old and my first ex suddenly went from $60k pa to nothing for 18 years so I've never been on the receiving end of child support. I am happy to pay for my children as I brought them into the world but I suspect I'm being a huge softie in all of this. Either that, or I just feel a bit resentful that after supporting my ex for 15+ years, I'm still supporting him even though we are separated (not by my choice either). Love to hear other people's thoughts.