Family & de facto law, financial agreements, consent orders
It is in our court order that our only way to communicate is via email. But like I mentioned he never ever replies to any of my emails. I am planning to take this back to court next month to get some orders made that if he plans not to see them long term then he has to give notice if he does want to. Our children are on edge all the time wondering if their dad is just going to turn up at school (as he has done before).
Thanks Martin for your reply. You are always so helpful with your information!!! I am planning on taking this back to court next month and asking for the orders to be changed that he has to give some type of notice etc if he plans to see his kids. It is very very sad for our kids. I have spent a fortune putting my chidren through counselling etc and as much as I don't care about the money - it just is such unnecessary pain for the kids. To make the matter even sadder for them - their father only lives 1 street away. Anyway like I keep telling myself he is losing out in the long run and I am the lucky one to be able to enjoy even more of my children.
Thanks again for your quick reply!!
I just had one more question (for now lol) - how hard is it to get sole parental responsibility? My children's father as you know never sees them and refuse to communicate with me - never replies to emails etc. I don't want to take things away from their dad but the fact of the matter is we will never ever be able to discuss important things and this has always been the case the whole time. He has shown to the courts through both family reports and also through his time actually in court that he is not easy to deal with let alone negotiate with. What are the chances of getting sole responsibilty or would it be a waste of time asking for it?
I'm not sure on that one. It is a great pity because as you say it's the kids who are missing out.
Does he suffer from some medical problem? His actions seem to suggest depression, of course I don't have the whole picture, and neither you nor I are the right persons to help him if this is the case. Perhaps the court will order mediation before they give you sole responsibility and should he come along perhaps, if I am on the right track, you could let the mediator know our suspicions and perhaps they could encourage him to go for counseling. All this is to aid the children in the long run.
I know I've drawn a long bow there, but it is from all I have to work on.
Hope things work out, for the kids.
I don't suspect that he is suffering from depression (but then I am not a professional to tell this) The problem in our case is control. He wants control - he either wants full control of the children or nothing at all. All though I don't like stero typing unfortunately in this case it fits. He is from a culture where men are controling and get what they want etc. Again I have always tried to make him a part of the children's lives and have always played by the rules etc and never been unfair to him and am always willing to negotiate. Unfortunately he has been in and out of the children's lives the whole time and our eldest is 10 so it is a long history. This weekend is an important religion day for him (like our xmas) and he has not made any mention to seeing the children so I am guessing he speaking by not speaking at all.
Anyway thanks again for your words of wisdom.