32 Comments Family & de facto law, financial agreements, consent orders
[QUOTE=worried12] blatant lies - she keeps stating incorrect values, and where funds where directed to, purely to try and reduce what she took from the separation, to increase her entitlement now. I knew all along she could be manipulative, but I'm just seeing now to what extent. She keeps saying whatever she wants, and I keep providing documentary evidence to prove her wrong, but in the end this isn't going anywhere.[/QUOTE]
I think (gurus please assist) this could help bolster your case when you go to court. It shows how dodgy she is and gives her poor "credibility" which then means the court believes you more than her.
Normally you are not allowed to include letters as part of your evidence because any offers are "without prejudice" (don't influence the courts decision on fair entitlements). However, even without prejudice correspondence can be submitted to support credibility arguments. Am I right gurus?
If you honestly believe you have done as much as you can outside of the court process then moving into court is your only option and based on what you have said one that you will need to pursue sooner rather than later.
It is going to cost, but then you are incurring cost not moving forward at the moment. How much it will cost will depend the time taken to sought the issue out, days in court and time taken to prepare and negotiate outside of court, but could easily run into tens of thousands.
Generally speaking you will bear your own costs but if you or your ex fail to take all steps to bring the matter to a speedy conclusion then the parties open themselves up to a costs claim from the other.
Certainly as far a a split is concerned the person with greater custody of the children has an advantage, but there are other factors to consider, however a 50/50 outcome is the minimum you would expect.
What you pay will depend on your solicitors scale of fees and whether you engage additional council. The later should only be required if the matter is complicated but seems to be more the norm lately than the exception. The court publishes a scale of fees ( http://www.fmc.gov.au/pubs/html/costs_fl.html ) and costs that you can use as a basis for a fair calculation.
Moving forward and going to court may even be the catalyst to force a out of court resolution. But in closing, get the matter into court and close out this chapter in you life and prepare to move on.
citizen181 2012-11-15 14:20:40
[QUOTE=worried12] ... I know she doesn't want to go to court (and ideally neither do I), but I don't see this coming to an end any other way, I'm not accepting 50% when I have full custody of the children....
...She keeps saying whatever she wants, and I keep providing documentary evidence to prove her wrong, but in the end this isn't going anywhere.[/QUOTE]
Reading back over your first posted topic http://www.aussielegal.com.au/forum/forum_posts~TID~17485~PID~82605.htm#82605 you say that you would be willing to accept a 50/50 split on the proviso that she (your new partners ex)agrees to pay half of school fees. As advised in that thread, school fees are dealt with via the CSA. If the children have been attending private schooling & fees have been paid prior to separation, then the CSA will almost certainly accept that is the intention for the future. If you haven't already, I recommend you talk with the CSA about that.
On the other issue of 'full custody'. It appears from your original topic that your new partner has primary care with the mother having them every second weekend. If you are wanting to pursue a greater than 50% division on that basis, just be aware that it is the father (your new partner)whose circumstances are considered when making any s75(2) adjustments.
If he is maintaining the same level of employment & income with you being the stay at home carer, he may not be considered as requiring any adjustment under s75(2)anyway, so the just & equitable figure may be close to the 50/50.
If you haven't already you would do well to seek the opinion of your solicitor on these matters before filing IMO.
Thanks Jaazzz, looks like this automatically logged in under my partner.
If we could sign now 50/50, knowing that CSA will approve private schooling (I put application in 2 weeks ago and haven't heard anything yet), then I would do that.
However, she does not accept my 2010 tax debt being in the pool, nor the balloon payment from my vehicle, approx $17500 all up. My solicitor has said that if it went to court they would see it was a joint marital debt, and should be included. And if we could get agreement on that then we should just sign the 50/50. I've been left with that debt, in addition to $12k mortgage contributions from her shortfall in payments over 2 years.
The fact that she has now sold her car, which should be in the pool, she's just playing games. If we go to court, at least it will be final, even if they do only award 50%, but that 50% will include all of the debts and assets that should legally be included - my debt, her car etc.. She can't be reasoned with. And at least in court we might be able to get her long service leave that she took last year notionally added back?
Honestly, I'm in 2 minds, just to throw my hands up and sign whatever now, her tactics are unbelievable.
If CSA accepts your evidence for private school fees, then you would want to crunch the numbers on whether or not it would be worth pursuing extra through the court. Never any guarantee of how it's going to turn out.
If you are confident in being able to prepare a case & self rep, then it may be worth it, otherwise any gain & perhaps more could easily be lost in legal fees.
Just thought I would give you an update..
I got an outcome from CSA for the private school fees - they agreed there was clearly intent they were always going to go to private school, however they said they feel it is 'just and equitable' for her to pay $1000 - even though half fees is $1900. I'm sure this was because of her fabricated story playing a matyr. Anyway, I accepted that decision, as $1000 is better than nothing, however a week after that we got a contract on our former matrimonial home... meaning that the $200/week she told CSA she has to pay for the house will no longer need to be expended. I called CSA and they told me I had a reason to object... not that I'm objecting the decision, solely because there has been a change in circumstances, that should mean she can now afford the full 50% fees. Will see how that plays out now.
Property settlement - well... they told us before xmas that it was now agreed. First week back at work my lawyer sent them a letter to confirm all the details of the pool and to start attending to the consent orders, and now she's replied back saying that my car is part of the home loan - which she knows for a fact it isn't... it's just starting all over again!! I've spent $13000 in legal fees since August - I should've just gone to court and at least then it would be finalised!! Now I can't afford to have court fees on top of what I've already spent. What I don't understand is, she will gain nothing from the settlement, in fact she will lose approx $20k in super, all still based on 50/50. I imagine she would have spent approximately the same amount. What reason can someone have to justify spending so much on legal fees when they won't be getting anything?
Does anyone have any advice on any ways/tactics I can get this all finalised?!!!!
Well I guess there was some degree of success with CSA & school fees. Sorry to hear about the settlement. Do you think it has something to do with your 'win' re the school fees?
Is it possible that you could extend some sort of 'olive branch' to your ex & see if you can have some sort of discussion (mediated if necessary) that will not involve solicitors & letters. If that isn't an option, then you don't have too many choices. I guess it's either propose another compromise or just hit them with an initiating application & see what the response to that is. With any luck that may be enough for her to decide to accept your proposal.
Thanks Jaazzz... I've already suggested to sit down ourselves and sort all this out, suggested she could have her parents or whoever she wanted there, I just want it finalised.. her response was I want it done by the book. Funny thing is, I am being completely reasonable and the 50/50 settlement is based on what the court would agree the property pool should be.. she's trying to look for ways to increase her entitlement - essentially not doing it 'by the book'.
In the last week she's also started send me text messages everyday asking how the kids are.. I'm sure this is also another tactic to make me just cave. We alternate weekends and she even had the nerve to ask if she 'could take them to the pool for a few hours if they are bored'. I know this was a dig, and she would've known full well I would say no - in fact I highly doubt she was even going to the pool in the first place!! And lastly, she also sent me a message telling me not to get the kids haircut at the hairdressers anymore because it makes them look like they're from a poor family!! She said she will cut it all the time from now on... then they come back with crooked fringes! She can't stop me from taking them to the hairdresser??? Can I do anything about the constant text messages??? She has sent a couple that have been derogatory. Wish she would focus on her own life, get the settlement finalised so we can both move on. I'm wondering if she's doing this all out of jealousy as I have a new life/partner/baby.. and have absolutely no issues... except for her!
Regarding the private school fees - my objection to Child Supports initial decision was successful. They are making her pay half the school fees! The objections officer also asked why I didn't apply for my youngest sons' fees... I told her I did, but was told by the inital case officer that because there was no signed enrolment for him they wouldn't be able to do it.. So the Objections Officer completely overturned the initial decision! Ex now has to pay 50% fees for both children! Interestingly, my ex told CSA back in October that she couldn't afford the fees as she only had $120/week left after all her weekly expenses... but since our former home sold in January this year she has bought herself a unit, which is an extra $400/week expense - how can you afford an extra $400/week when you only had $120 income left???!!! CSA said they are satisfed that even with her new mortgage she should be able to organise her finances to support her childrens' education! BAM!
But it all gets better.... I just received in the mail paperwork from the Social Securities Appeal Tribunal (SSAT), and she is objection to Child Supports decision!! So now I have to go to a tribunal. My thoughts are... two different CSA officers have agreed she should pay the schooling - but how much will the SSAT think she should pay!! Considering a full merit review of the original decision saw her paying a lot more, and agreeing that there is clearly intent both children would be attending private school.. I'm honestly very intrigued to see how this will all play out. And having to sit in a room with her for the hearing listen to her babble out all her lies and excuses as to why she can't pay...
So my course of action - print out private school enrolment forms from when we were still together, print out bank statements showing she paid half schooling for the first year of separation, print out her child support statements saying she only had $120/week spare, and the latest one saying she now has a $600/week mortgage..
She has a room=mate-wonder if she will also declare the rental income on her financial statement to the tribunal??
Anyone have any experience they can shed on what happens at tribunal? Do they ever completely overturn an objected decision, will they make her pay less.... just interested in some previous outcomes???
Property Settlement - still not finalised... still haven't received statements for my eldest childs trust account... have sent her solicitor 2 letters since January and haven't heard anything... I think she enjoys this whole thing...
Edit - Sorry I might also add that as part of the objection process they looked at my tax return and added back the rental property losses and depreciation deductions to my taxable income. Do you think the tribunal is likely to make any further changes to my income? Am self employed.
worried12 2013-05-11 12:04:43
[QUOTE=worried12] .... Anyone have any experience they can shed on what happens at tribunal? Do they ever completely overturn an objected decision, will they make her pay less.... just interested in some previous outcomes???[/QUOTE]
First of all thanks for the positive feedback. Normally only get to hear about CSA failings on here. Makes a nice change.
Regrading the SSAT. They can either affirm the CS registrars decision, vary it, or set it aside & substitute a new one, or set it aside & send it back to the CSA with recommendations.
Having said that, the SSAT is still bound to operate under the same legislative framework as the CSA, ie, the CS collection act & CS assessment act. What that means in essence, is that the SSAT will look at the decision made by the CSA along with all the documentation that it had before it to see if there have been any errors in law. It can also hear oral evidence from the parties present & receive new evidence such as documents as well if it chooses.
Sounds to me like the fresh evidence you have will just further confirm that the correct decision has been made in the first place.
So I have a directions hearing in a months time as my ex has objected to CSA decision making her pay half of childrens school fees. As part of this process I have received every piece of paperwork CSA has ever received from both of us, as well as records of every conversation - where she has blatantly lied to them. I asked and asked for CSA to request her bank statements, but as far as I was aware they never did (as I knew this would prove she could pay). Anyway after having a quick look through the half ream of paperwork, it seems they did in fact end up getting copies of her bank statements - but not through her - directly requesting them from the bank. Now, on the date she completed a form for CSA detailing her assets/liabilities/cash etc.. she noted a particular amount of money in her cash account. Her bank statement for that day shows an amount which is $5000 more than this! It also asks if an asset has been sold in the last 12 months - she answered no - even though she sold her car. She also told them she hasn't been on any overseas trips - I will now ask them to check her passport number - which will again prove otherwise. Obviously I will be pointing all of this out to the SSAT, which should show her credibility to be 0. What I would like to know is will there be any repercussions for her clearly giving false/misleading information???? It clearly states on all of their forms that doing so is a criminal offence??? I have done nothing but tell the truth the whole way through, and provided as much evidence as I could to support me, while she has just lied and lied to try and get out of paying. It's all just so disappointing - shouldn't have to go this far to get her to financially support her children - especially when she insisted on private schooling in the first place.
**Edit- Just found this..
so guessing there will be no repercussions for her!
worried12 2013-05-11 12:32:58
If she has made false claims to child support, you might want to check how that gets passed on the centrelink. If she is claiming family tax benefit part A or B and has provided false information then they may reduce or stop her payments until any money she recieved from them that she was not entitled to gets re-paid. Stuff like rental income.
In my case I recently had CSA make a determination in my favour. It was lodged on 1st Feb. It took 2 months for them to make a determination. When they made he determination it was back dated to the date of notification. BUT with family tax benefit they will back date 2 years. So in the case of my friend who has sole custody, he was unaware of his entitlement for family tax benefit. So when he applied they back dated 2 years as he has had sole custody for 3 years. BUT because the ex had not informed them that SHE was no longer seeing the children, she had been paid family tax benefit that she was not entitled to. She has a huge tax debt. He didn't bother applying for child support, to hard and she doesn't earn much anyways.
According to the rules you must inform centrelink within 14 days of any change of circumstance. If your ex has not done this any benefits paid to her that she was not entitled to will be added to her tax bill and or will reduce any payments she is entitled to in the future till the bill is paid. Sorry if my post is rambling, just got back from a long run. REallly tired...
Tks Eamon. No she doesn't appear to be receiving any benefits. Was purely lying to child support to get out of paying school fees. I'm hoping at the very least she loses credibility and SSAT will uphold that she pays half. There should be consequences.. you're right when you said there is nothing fair about all this! I could never lie on a form.. too easy to be proven wrong... but she continues to get away with it.... except hope fully maybe this time....
I have been planning on filing the initiating application, and just spending the money to go to court to get this all finalised.. but my new partner does not want us to be ruined financially because of the legal fees... which is understandable... but it's also the only way I see the ex making this a priority. I've tried emailing my ex directly (for the first time!), hoping that I might get a similar response in that she wants it all over, as it is really starting to affect the kids - they are getting older now and taking in what is going on.. her response was she thinks we should resolve it ourselves before going back to solicitors... my response... we reached an agreement before xmas, it's now May and nothing has been done.. what needs to be resolved, the paperwork just needs to be signed and lodged with court. Her response - she will revise the agreement and get her solicitor to act on it when she's happy with it. It's not an agreement unless I'm happy with it too! Clearly we're getting nowehere... so I'm considering, and a couple of people have suggested it on here before, that I start doing this myself and file the initiating application. My only concern with this is... if it actually makes it to court... can I then appoint a solicitor? She has been carrying on with depression stuff/psychologists since August last year (we separated 2010) - and psycho report states her issues are related to settlement issues/conflict - would this not show to the court that once 'settlement' is over she shouldnt' have any more 'issues' - therefore no 'future needs'??. It's this psychologist stuff that is the only thing that makes me hesitant to go to court... I've got the kids... so surely my future needs are greater???
*edit - just to be clear - I'm not going to court to try and get more than 50/50 - I literally just want this all over with. I just don't want to go to court and have her use the psychologist stuff to try and get more. Surely if I have the kids I wouldn't get less than 50/50?? I'm already disadvantaged by $17k over the last 2 years!
worried12 2013-05-14 09:52:33
If you are saying your ex sole intent is to drag the process out check the timelines in case you get locked into procedings that run for months.
You can self-represent and then appoint a solicitor subsequently (who will charge to review everything you did to date). You can also appoint a solicitor just to get your initiating application done and at any point then stop using them (although they will obviously advise against that).
As one lawyer told me, if you want your life back ask your ex to give you a final proposal (by a reasonable date). You might not like it, but if you are prepared to concede a little you have your freedom (your ex has a "victory").
You can always give a final counter/reasonable timeline to settle, stating you are prepared to go to court. I am assuming that formal mediation will not be required prior to you heading to court?
In my case my ex did not mediate prior to going to court (May, 2012). A conciliation conference was ordered and failed. I am now 9 months away from a readiness hearing; then 6 more months to trial, If we do not settle the process will have taken around two years.
Hi Calmar, I've been using solicitor, we had agreement with ex in December last year, my solicitor has sent numerous letters to finalise everything and we.'re now getting no response. That's why I emailed ex, and her response was she wants to revise agreement. Solicitor said if we file we will get court date in approx 6 weeks.. so I thought it would be over by that date if not before. Its not a complex settlement..based on 50:50 I'm supposed to receive some of her super and that's it.. but I want the parenting plan signed. We've had the exact same routine for the kids in place for 2 years but she doesn't want to sign off on that either. Maybe if I start acting on my own and emailing her solicitor and filing application, it might help the process along...?? And not cost me anymore wasted money?????
*edit - I've arranged to attend intake for mediation.. seems silly as we are already sticking to a care arrangement for kids, but if she won't sign consent orders will have to take that to court too. So figure maybe I should get the ball rolling.. if her solicitor tells her maybe he's going to file for court.. that might make her wake up and finalise everything. who knows. anythings worth a shot at this point.
worried12 2013-05-14 11:19:58
I'm sorry to hear this and hope it works out sooner rather than later. Common themes in many cases:
1. If someone doesn't want to settle the process can be slow and painful. Hence, if you enter procedings be aware of what could happen (even though you can settle any time).
2. Clearly some people move on, some do not (not to say we do not all suffer emotionally), but for some even when divorced, the negotiation in or out of court is a way to hang on (because it's hard to let go).
3. Unfortunately while property breaks may be clean, CSA and children's arrangements can all be re-opened (changing circumstances).
4. Even if you work well together with the kid(s) now, if your ex wants to be difficult that will become the focal point after everything else settles.
5. My lawyer said he has seen cases go to trial where the total asset pool (including super) was less than AUD 50,000. Logic unfortunately does not prevail.
I guess what I need to know is if I self represent and get the initiating application underway... even if I do go to the extent of self representing in court if things go that far (which I am hoping they wouldn't) even if I do a terrible job at self representing, would I get any less than 50% given that I have custody of the children?
No one can give guarantees on the outcome, though given your circumstances it is unlikely that you will achieve less than 50/50.
However that is somewhat irrelevant at the moment as the most important issue is to get the process started before you run out of time to act. Once the process commences it gives you more time and more leverage to negotiate a reasonable settlement outside of the court process. There is always help available to assist you to self represent and if worse comes to worse you can engage a solicitor for the tricky bits.
citizen181 2013-05-14 19:03:26
I have attended one on one FDR and they have said they will now try and get in contact with the ex and invite her to attend mediation. Even the counsellor was appalled at what I was telling her has been going on with the children, how the ex just uses them etc. Nice to have an outside person shake their head at her actions :) So now I will wait and see and hopefully get a certificate and will then file the court proceedings.
On another note, tribunal hearing for child support is in 3 weeks and I have received 'additional material' from the ex - she is saying that as a self employed tradie I earn considerable cash income so my income through the ATO isn't accurate - lie. And she has now decided to drag my new partner into it all again and has said that she works part time for her brothers business and receives cash in hand - lie, and says that she also receives cash in hand from her investment property - lie. It just really unnerves me that she can just make up all this stuff! My partner is absolutely livid and has been researching defamation, as she does everything by the book and is realing from her trying to say she is dishonest. At the end of the day, she can prove the investment property stuff as there is a managing agent - no chance of cash - but it's just the principle that she can go out and say whatever she wants without a piece of evidence - of which there isn't any. I don't know what the best option is for this anymore, do I just not bother responding to any of this, wait until the tribunal, and just deal the cards I'm dealt and address any questions they have for me (and I will take along every piece of evidence I have to disprove all her statements), or do I start putting everything together now and just give it to the tribunal. From what I am picking up from the tribunal, they are only reviewing the decision child support made at the time, to ensure there were no errors of law and the decision was made correctly based on the information they had - the fact that my ex is now making up stories should hopefully not be relevant?? I hope the panel can see all of this for what it is, my ex seems to be using it as an avenue to try and discredit both myself and my partner. At the end of the day, the worse thing that can happen for my ex is that she has to pay half school fees for our children - really - that's what this is all about :( Although like the counsellor said - some people just don't move on, and this is her way of still trying to have 'control'. I feel like this really is her life!
Accuations etc. are par for the course. Everything will be weighed on the balance of evidence. If someone makes an allegation with no proof then it is not likely to go far.
Logic says she should report "cash in hand" issues to ATO etc. Mind you I would not tell her that or she probably will just to cause trouble. The advice to say nothing is really very true.
The not moving on is a problem. To me the best you can do is ignore it and not get drawn into this. Simply provide what you need to. I assume the tribunal will guide you on what you need to respond to. The rest is noise designed to get to you. Don't let it. People want a reaction and the best way is not to react. It may make things worse for a while but in time it will settle down.
Logic does say report to ATO - but she is not logical - she is vexatious - just trying to make me look bad. I honestly couldn't care if she reported me to ATO, I don't have anything to hide - I work 6 days a week with a work partner, who can confirm that, and I keep a diary for all my work so if there are any issues with a site I can look up when I was there etc - my spare time I spend with my kids. Honestly she's had a go about everything on my financial details form, even saying that my mortgage amount isn't correct and it should be half as I own half the house with my new partner - if she bothered actually looking at all the paperwork (which includes mortgage statements) she would see the amount is actually HALF of the mortgage. Honestly - she's just shooting at the mouth without any proof. I guess I'll just continue as I have done - only comment on things I can prove. Thanks Calmar - I just need to vent when I read all this rubbish from her.
*Add - my partner doesn't have anything to hide either - her tax returns now are no different than before she met me - and honestly her brother would be ropable if he knew what she was saying, he has a reputable business and does everything by the book, would not take kindly to someone trying to discredit him. Her lack of morals knows no bounds.
worried12 2013-07-09 11:55:36
If it helps, I have a readiness hearing on property matters September more than a year after my ex first filed; and two conciliation conferences later (magistrate decided a third is a waste of time). To give you a flavour of some of the issues my ex has filed against me.
1. I own property in the UK, but not in my name
2. I have offshore bank accounts and have hidden money somewhere
3. My ex gave me USD 250,000 in cash to buy a pension with (but cannot provide bank statements as it's too long ago)
4. My company somehow committed fraud and my pay is not fully declared to tax authorities (it is a listed US company I work for)
5. Monies I transfered to my ex while married where in fact to an account in the name of my ex (and my ex denies ever having received any of these monies).
6. My ex claims not to have received monies from me when I inherited from an aunt (actually the day after I get the money half went to an account - the one my ex claims I set up using my ex name)
7. My ex assets are listed as zero (I mean zero on all fronts). If I had half what my ex claims I would not be working for sure.
Despite no fault divorce in Australia; my ex in the affidavits keeps making allegations of abuse (unproven); abandonment (unproven); and recently threatened to take me to court under the 1990 Crimes Act to claim monies for abuse or something similar.
As noted in some of my posts, I have been arrested, cautioned by the police (no charges); investigated by child protection (cleared), and face losing my job as my ex keeps writing to my employer maliciously.
All I am trying to point out is that actually what is happening to you is pretty common. There are cases easier than yours; and as this forum shows, there are some much worse. If abuse is real, drugs are involved or there are mental health issues (suicide, homicide); it really puts things into perspective. It's messy, but it can always be worse.
At the end of the day we will all come through this and hopefully look back from a better position in life.
Thanks Calmar. Yes yours is certainly worse. At the end of the day I have custody of my children 11 nights a fortnight, so I guess I should be grateful to the ex that I didn't have to fight to have them too - it's just everything else that's a battle with her.
Although having said that.. I feel I may have another issue with her - in the school holidays she had the children an extra 3 nights, and separated them - one was with her mother for 3 days and then they swapped. She then told me how much better behaved they are on their own, and asked me if she could keep the youngest one full time - I said no, and told her I do not want them separated again - from what I am researching she wouldn't be successful in trying to get custody of him?? They have been living with me for 3 years and have a new sibling from my new partner - can anyone shed any light on this??
yep mate courts don't like separating siblings,
So let me have some fun.
Ex wife - Mr magistrte, i would now like to keep the youngest child full time. He is so cute and small and he doesn't need to see his dad. I don't like the other 2 they are loud so I leave them with their grandma PLEASE...
Magistrate - But don't you think it is in the best interests of the little one to be with his siblings and father?
Ex- Nope. This is not about his best interests it is about my best interests...
Mate you have enough to worry about. She would have a little bit less than a half chance IF the youngest was 12 and expressed an desire to stay full time with mum, and even then probably not.
I hope my post doesn't offend, school teacher on holidays and my kids are with their mum, I'm bored.
There have been decisions made where siblings are on different care percentages. Older children might live mainly with one parent while the younger children are involved more in shared care to enable the relationship to establish with both parents.
Worried12, when people are going through a property settlement they sometimes get stressed and their behaviour changes. They do things that seem unreasonable to one party. It is tempting to think that you are the only reasonable person here and your ex is the only one being unreasonable. Here's how it sounds to me. The kids live with you, you receive CS from the ex, you maintain your work 6 days a week job because you have the support of a new partner. And you also want your ex to pay half school fees. She is getting the same rough deal that many men got in the past and she may be getting stressed from it. Yes, you are getting stressed too, but you are not the first person to have an ex fabricate details to court or CSA. It doesn't count unless there is evidence to back up the claims so don't worry about it.
As far as the youngest goes, have you considered a 50/50 care arrangement for that child until she/he is a bit older? Maybe agree to trial it for a little while.
Sigh! Worried I apologise for the immediately above comment from Daisy wherein she said:
"when people are going through a property settlement they sometimes get stressed and their behaviour changes. They do things that seem unreasonable to one party. It is tempting to think that you are the only reasonable person here and your ex is the only one being unreasonable. Here's how it sounds to me. The kids live with you, you receive CS from the ex, you maintain your work 6 days a week job because you have the support of a new partner. And you also want your ex to pay half school fees."
I say "what a crock a sh..! (yet again) Daisy!"
Here's how it sounds to me and from the other above comments excluding the last mentioned and allegedly quite unreasonable but this is I suggest not the first of like kind "Daisy posts" perhaps (you decide for yourself please as this is NOTHING BUT MY personal and not "legal" OPINION and certainly not defamatory or to be twisted to suit any as yet unknown purpose) sledging the men and all allegedly under the (perhaps flimsy) guise of "reasonableness" on her part or as if this input was to in anyway help you which I personally doubt but that's just my OPINION and nothing more:
I say you are being screwed. I say you ARE BEING REASONABLE and it is tragic that any forum member could suggest that you are not given the disclosed circumstances in this and other posts by you.
You ARE reasonable as (almost) anyone can see unless they choose not to see it that way for whatever reasons they may have.
Stay strong and best of luck.
Hi keeper.. We are all grown ups here & whist we can put forward opposing points of view, personal attacks & arguing back & forth is not on..
I have been very impressed with the quality of responses to posts in this forum of late by various members & will not tolerate members being attacked in the manner in which you have attacked daisy in this thread. Please do not do it again.
An apology would be nice.
Daisy5 I certainly appreciate your perspective, but if I posted every single thing she has done and said you might suggest differently :) Her own sister even said she should not have the youngest - said she'd have the child for 2 weeks and want to give them back. Child is 4 and attends pre-prep at his older siblings school. She lives 35 mins away and I assure you she would not pick him up and drop him to school every day - as it is, her mother drops them back at school because she says she doesn't have time (ie, doesn't want to get up before 7am for ONE day to drop them at school, so they stay with her mother on Sunday nights while she drops them to school. She doesn't have much responsibility at all when it comes to the children. Her boyfriend stays with her, and the children tell me that he reads to them, dresses them, baths them - but she does cook dinner.:)