TIPS AND TRAPS IN THE CONDUCT OF FAMILY LAW DISPUTES

1. Retain a lawyer who specialises in Family Law then follow that lawyer’s advice.
2. Tell your lawyer everything and not just things that you think are in your favour.
3. Be pragmatic. Don’t spend thousands of dollars in lawyer’s fees fighting over something worth hundreds of dollars.
4. When considering arrangements concerning your children put aside past arguments between you and your former partner.
5. Resist the temptation to air your dirty laundry before the court. It will very rarely be relevant and is likely to leave a bad impression with the judge.
6. Don’t expect the court to compensate you for what has occurred during your relationship. The court has to make a decision on how to divide property and how children will divide their time between their parents. The court cannot and will not redress past wrongs.
7. Good litigation strategy may not be good life strategy. Everyone underestimates the financial and emotional expense of negotiations and litigation. Think long term and weigh the ultimate cost, financial and otherwise, of your actions.
8. Don’t underestimate the guilt factor. If your partner left you try and reach an early resolution because the benevolence that comes with guilt will wear off.
9. Everything you do, write, email and say, including things said in the strictest confidence to family and friends, can get back to your former partner and may become evidence in family law litigation. If you don’t want it to become part of the evidence, do not say it and most particularly do not write it.
10. When planning to separate take photocopies of bank account statements, superannuation details, business tax returns, balance sheets and other documents that will help your lawyer understand your financial position.
11. Moving out of your home can have significant adverse consequences. Don’t move without consulting your lawyer.
12. If moving out take with you all your official papers such as birth and marriage certificates, passports and tax returns. Also take with your personal items, clothing, jewelry and those items that cannot be replaced such as family photographs and heirlooms.
13. Either you or your former partner can close and empty financial accounts or “max out” credit cards without one another’s consent. You may even be able to draw down on lines of credit or mortgages secured against real estate. Talk to you lawyer about steps you can take to stop this from happening.
14. Speak to your solicitor about changing your Will if your former partner is a beneficiary.
15. If you and your partner own real estate together as joint tenants it will automatically go to the survivor regardless of what your Will says. Your solicitor can help prevent this by “splitting the tenancy”.
16. Don’t forget to apply for a divorce. If you die before you are divorced your spouse can make a claim against your estate.
17. You have only one year from the date of your Certificate of Divorce to apply for spousal maintenance or property settlement. If that date is approaching and you do not have court orders regarding these issues get legal advice to see if there is anything you ought to do.
18. Where possible, do not agree to a property settlement where your partner is responsible for the ongoing payments on the home or car you are retaining. Your credit provider will not care about your arrangements with your partner even if they are part of court orders and will seize and sell your property if the payments are not made.
19. Courts make decisions on the evidence before them. The basis of all property settlements is the value of the assets. Neither you, your lawyer nor a judge is qualified to value those assets. The only evidence a court will accept is a valuation by an appropriately qualified person.
20. Don’t depend on your memory, keep a diary. But be careful with what you write as it may be read by the Judge and your former partner.
21. Never show your children court documents or discuss legal matters with them.
22. Don’t use your children as your therapist and don’t question your children regarding the activities of your former partner or use them to pass messages between you. All these behaviors put your children in the middle and you will make them victims of your dispute.
23. Don’t put your former partner down in front of the children. Your inability to behave respectfully towards the other significant person in their life will be a cross against you when deciding how much time your children spend in your care.
24. Pay your Child Support, in full and on time. If you disagree with the assessment go through the appropriate channels to have the assessment changed. Failure to contribute to your children’s support will not impress a judge particularly if you are asking the court to order that your children live with you or spend more time with you.