COPING WITH CHILDREN AFTER SEPARATION

Children can react in very different ways to separation and divorce. The way they react depends on a number of issues, including their age at the time and the degree of conflict or animosity between parents. This is a stressful period for children, but most recover and end up leading normal healthy lives. Their adjustment is enhanced when parents remain sensitive to the children's needs.

Separation is often a surprise for children and they often experience many of the same feelings as adults. Children can also grieve for a long time. Children may unconsciously grieve the loss of their parents' relationship for many years and maintain a fantasy that their parents will one day reunite. They may have been unaware of the problems their parents were having and may feel shocked and confused when the separation occurs. They may also feel insecure and worry whether the remaining parent will leave them as well.

Children have to deal with a range of changes and adjustments as a result of their parents separating. Changes in family lifestyle, rules and discipline. There may also be a lot of other changes eg., new house, new school. Invariably a lot of adjustment is required. Although parents are often upset and confused at this time, it is important to try to understand what your children are going through and to consider their feelings as well.

Support is available.

A self-help quiz for separated parents

Parenting Information Booklet: What About the Children?

Online Relationship Support

Both Partners and Parents

Communication

Fair Fighting

Turning Points in Relationships

Quiz: What About the Children?

Relationship Support Services

Counselling is available to parents and children to assist children after separation. This can include reading material to help parents, to increase their awareness of issues faced by children and how to respond to them.

Mediation is available to assist parents to resolve conflict that effects children and help to make appropriate arrangements for the care of children after separation, this includes

FURTHER INFORMATION

This information is provided by Relationships Australia who are Australia's leading provider of professional services to support relationships. It is a not-for profit community based organisation. Our Mission: Relationships Australia is committed to enhancing the lives of communities, families and individuals by being the leading professional provider of quality relationship support services. Our Goals: To work in partnership with others to ensure a society which supports positive and respectful relationships; To serve a more diverse range of clients; To provide relevant services that meet the needs of clients; To adopt business practices that enable the delivery of efficient and effective services; To ensure a positive work environment that delivers outcomes for clients; and To be financially robust to achieve our goals.

You can contact the national office of Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277 to find your closest state branch.