QuoteReplyTopic: Fight for the Principle? Posted: 12/May/2012 at 03:26
I have come across this forum which, if not the answers, provides great direction. The situation I face is shadowed by most read so far, keeping in mind always worse things have happened to better people, I explain...
Ex partner and I both 26, lived together for nearing 5 years, no children, not "professionals". Were just two "kids" travelling, struggling looking for place to make home.
They cheated, I told them to leave, arriving home from work the following day practically everything had been removed from the house. I already had calculated our property (aprrox. 13.5k)and had asked for sub half, knowing that they recieved tax recently which helped to establish our new home. I live quite modestly, their spending on clothes, cosmetics, jewelery, haircuts and hobbies would EASILY triple mine (not that a court would care just was hoping them to be rational in this sense). So of the 13.5 I am left with 3 at most, not even considering clothes jewelry books crafts. Also left with min. 2k credit card debt (we both created), a fine, the bills, and damage to the rental she's done going off the rails. Leaving the bond and car apparently made us even
There is not much to fight for I know, however I am someone of principle, a passion for what is right and to not even have a fridge or pots or knives to eat with, mad. Wanted to find them go in guns blazing but realise I am a grown up now, figure that civil action may be only option to pursue what is just.. Kaarma can sort out the rest.
Any advice? Without a television you have much time to think and build a case, I'd represent myself obviously.
She inherited 60k with their mother passing some two years ago, which I am NOT interested in, does this benefit my case?
Can gather police reports, witness statements to confirm it was their damage to property.
Without a drivers liscence I've supported them, for years?
Mother passing, travelling to visit?
Abortion? (could've been worse)
How about property I owned prior to de facto? They had nothing but a cat before that mind you :)
What's your basic court/service notice/etc cost? Internet is vague.
I assume by THEY you mean HER. Were you in a partnership with 2 people or just one? But that aside - the value of furniture etc is not replacvement value, it is second hand value. So it is what a second hand dealer would pay you for it. A $500 TV becomes a $50 TV for example. Does that make a difference to your figures. Also debt should be shared. Re-do your figures and see if it is worth the effort - if not - walk away a more educated person. Don't bother throwing good money after bad - just liek you said - think karma will get them eventually.
Firstly listen carefully to the advice contained in Ant's statement. There is not a lot here worth going into all out war for, however, there are some issues that will need to be managed. You were not clear whether this was a formal marriage or a medium, term de facto situation, or something else. In any event you will need to make sure that it is formally and legally closed off. The money and property issues should only be pursued to the point that it can be done through, calm, sensible and reasoned negotiation, don't spend more money on a legal fight. May not probably won't be successful but give it a go. At the end of the day its not much effort to replace the items you've lost, annoying, but not difficult.
Get onto your local Federal Magistrates Court, online or in person, and they can put you onto the necessary process to sign off on the relationship, at minimal cost.
Trying to be even 'gender' handed, but obvious it was a SHE and there was ONE of them. Thank you, yes second hand value would change the figure somewhat, so when it comes to court who decides the value? Do I find my own valuer? Do I search ebay?
"Lawyers love clients with principles" cool, but not seeking a solicitor, I suppose you would need one should there be a mediation process.
In Australia (Queensland) what are the court system costs, before involving a "lawyer"?
Thanks citizen, checking Federal Magistrates court.
It was a de facto relationship.
The difficult part about the items is that they are gone, the rent has doubled and she's left more damage than the bond will cover. Be nice to get someone else in but the place is empty, hard sell. Without action I'm stuck with nothing for quite a while.
It can be a fraught time. You can in essence be you own valuer, do the rounds of local second hand shops and the classifieds. Remembering that shops prices are their sell prices not buy. When it comes to this class of property no-one, especially the court expects precision, just reasonable behavior and estimates.
Again, focus on putting a formal end to the relationship, if that's still the desire, clearing your joint names from bills and any other association. Simple things like one of those adds in the paper not accepting responsibility for any debts she may accrue from this point on.
As for the rent and bond, if it is a long lease then, as you say find a new roomy, one with furniture, and fix the damage before the end of the lease. Are you planning to move out? Regarding, the things that matter, go down to KMart or Target and for under a $100 you should be able to get more than enough kitchen kit to live, they have little packages of all the essentials. A new fridge from the second hand store, while you're checking prices, also under hundred and a TV... you don't need a big screen now. Or forget the TV and go out and meet people, people who have a TV or who are looking for a place to crash.
If there are problems with the bond and the damage it will come down to your agent and the name/s on the lease. If in joint names then joint responsibility. And in the end if you are still principled, you can put together a small claims action to recover monies owed.
Cheers mate, yeah look a tv is bottom of the list, in fact, not having one is something I plan to continue, stimulates creativity. Empty living areas are double as great dancefloors also. Gotta find those silver linings.
Planning to move out, beautiful house but she still has keys so every likelyhood she'll be back for more. And yes will be making steps to officially finalise, if that be wise. The ad, though clever, shouldn't be necessary, only lease in both our names and it's been made public enough.
Found some info here upon your advice citizen, perhaps handy to others who are interested.
http://www.fmc.gov.au/html/fees_family.html
Update: Contacted closest "Dispute Resolution Centre" .. This afternoon they got back to me, she has declined "for reasons undisclosed", I was at work with limited time to converse.
Before court I figure arbitration is the next logical step. How does one go about organising arbitration?
Not concerned about cost, letting someone walk on you is invaluabe. To me.
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