Im a Pakistani Muslim married to Aussie girl

AoA Sam786...
Sorry to hear about your story. I understand your pain. According to my understanding and knowledge I would like to guide.
First of all your wife and in-laws are putting pressure on you to make you come over there by using such strategies. Try to reconcile as a first option. But if not, then go for other options.
- I read this whole conversation, in all this situation "Andrew.nsw's" advice is the most appropriate.
- Your Pakistan divorce paper will be accepted in Australia as your Pakistan Nikah Namah is. I advice you not to hurry for divorce because if you give divorce while remaining in Pakistan and you dont go overthere. It will be a big mess then and would be life long. Andrew is 100% right that you will be in much better position for your child if you come to Australia.
- If you are in Australia separated/divorced all you have to do is to pay "Child Support Amount" which could be like 150 AUD$ monthly. The amount is decided Aus Govt. Dept. named Child Support Agency.
- You can approach court to have the right to see your son. You will have atleast several hours to see your son in a week.
- It is nearly impossible to get full child custody of an infant, can say it will be a "Mojaza" if it happens.
- Regarding your concern that if your in-laws charge against you false. Well dear for what? They CAN'T do anything, the thing they can do isto give you mental stress(and they are doing it). Australia is a civilized country, you wont be accused of anything in Australia unless it violates Aus laws.
- Now the question stands, how can you goto Australia??? One way which I know is that if your wife sponsors you then. If your wife doesnt sponsor you then I believe Andrew can suggesst you any other option.
- Prepare yourself to go to Australia. U have to be tough emotionally due to the following factors:
1. you will be alone in Aus (as you mentioned u dont know anyone overthere).
2. Need sufficient funds to support yourself overthere.
3. U have to loose your job in Pakistan.
- At this stage the main point is how are you going to reach Aus?
- DONT HURRY FOR DIVORCE.    

I am sending you some links dear friend (study them thoroughly):

www.csa.gov.au
www.australia.gov.au/topics/law-and-justice/family-law
www.familycourt.gov.au
www.familylawcourts.gov.au
www.immi.gov.au


THE MAIN THING IS YOUR WIFE MIGHT NOT COME BACK AND IT IS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR U TO GET YOUR SON WHILE SITTING IN PAKISTAN. So you have to make a way to go overthere for your son.


Incase of queries I would love to answer you.
May Allah help you.
Bye.

Sam786, you are blowing up a golden opportunity, people pay enormous amounts of money to get to USA, europe and australia like countries.
Do you know the value of australian passport my friend? if you did, you would fly away now.
Not to mention australia's living standard, lifestyle, education and medical system are the best than any western country. why you dont want your son to grow up here? everyones leaving pakistan and india and you want to live there? why?
unless you are a billionare then its different.

Apologies, but i think you dont love your son, and just because you feel cheated, your wife left for australia, doesnt mean you sit in pakistan and whinge about it. You think divorce is goign to give you mental peace then my friend you wrong, you will be thinking about you son all the time, wanting to hold him and kiss him, imagine how frustrated you would be when you know you blew it. Your son is still a baby, embrace these times, dont blow them because you feel cheated.

I always tell people to take divorce as absolute last option.
And Sam786 my friend, you have only become a father. your wife a mother.
both of you have not spent any time together as parents, so how can you
know if she is changed or not. trust me your relationship has changed completely.

Let me point out somethings which i gather from you and explain to you:
-How were your living conditions when you married- living alone or joint family?
you said arranged marriage, how well you know eachother and got married?
-Pregnancy hormones right after you got married! explains the tantrums.
- You dont trust her, so dont immigrate. Go for a visit on tourist visa.
- Tell her you dont want more children(talk contraception). Since you said she was in hurry to conceive, make it clear you dont want her pregnant on visit.
- Observe her during visit, is she same or not, is she a good mother? Has she changed after separation? then you can make a better decision.
- You son is a baby, and if you meet him now, it will be in your favour, because you have spent time with him and have some proove that you are thinking of childs best interest. courts look at these things.
- you will have an entry in australia on you passport, so in future
visits for your son wont be problem. If you divorce now, your tourist visa will not be accepted in future, as they want some kind of reason for your visit.
If you tell them your son and family, you easily get visa now.
-Later your wife might create problem for you to visit him. She might ask courts for full custody and you will never see him in your life. you lose him forever.
- your wife may remarry and not want you in your sons life, he may have a new dad, not you.
- And as a divorcee with a child, you will have problems finding a girl, girls
these days dont want divorcee. unless you rich and handsome. same goes
for your wife. rich and beautiful.
- apologies, both of you need to show maturity, you my friend, should show some charge, and divorce is not showing charge, it is giving up and quitting before anything has even started in your life. Show charge by meeting your son, spending time with him. show that you are his father.
- your wife should give you address and phone number which you said they did not give for your sons gifts. she should send photos of him.
- your wife doesnt want divorce, means she wants to be with you.
-lastly i say, dont throw away your life in pakistan, dont immigrate now, just visit australia before divorce, see how dimensions in your relationship as husband wife are, then make this life long decision.
i say this because your child is involved.

there are no counter effects in sponsoring, infact it will be a favour and responsibility on their part, if they do sponsor you. But in this visa you can not extend your stay. Its limited.
The tourist visa gives you multiple visits, and you can extend visa if you want. You can apply for further stay.
It depends on what you are comfortable with. And what is easy for you. see immi.gov.au.

Your inlaws can not harm/hold you. If you commit a crime against the State/government then you will be deported. other than that you have nothing to be fearful about. In these countries everyone is protected under law. you will be too.

Hi sis nadia
Thanks for your frompt reply and assitance....
There are few things to share...as you know she left w/o against my consent.....and still she is forcing me to come to aus....i gave her a month time grace period even after she gave me her final verdict on not coming back....she seems to be pretty cool ending it....her agenda was always to get me to aus...stuck and disconected from my homeland n family....therefore she has knitted a plan to get me trapped.....some times she calls me and talks in an abusive tone....but later she msgs or calls me with one single msg of coming to australia as she says she is not ok with coming to aus....she says b4 ending this r.ship she for once wants me to visit aus...to avoid influence from our parents n failies bothways i have given her a choice to meet elswhere....singpore, kl, dubai.....but she some odd reason wants me to come to aus.....and this definately smells shady.....if the whole point is to meet each other then why it has to be aus....she flatly refused my idea...she wants everything to come from me....no efforts from her....though the issue was created by no one but her....for them everything begins n ends with money......and she can go to any extent....very emotionless bunch of ppl


My inlaws have a very wierd track record....they know all the legal tricks....they survivie on dole n other khairatiya funds...they keep on moving their local paki uneducated guys to perth....and exactly know the ways and means to avail every single penny possible from the government.....in the past they have trapped us...demanded gold money etc b4 marriage...i sure...as much as i know my inlaws and wife....they just want to call me ..... keep blackmailing me if i want to leave...by going to the local authorities as once i go there...in capacity of her husband....she will inform the local council to squeeze every money i have had and ensure child support for coming 14 odd years....by hoook or by crook....or just keep on black mailing me with the fear....to ensure my stay in aus...and she can restrict my exit ( i have come to know abt the legal aspect and their trac record.from their niegbors n relatives living in perth.....hence i will be playing in their hand and they will calling the shots......


I have already been thru a lot of sh*t....im not willing to waste my life and live as per my wifes or inlaws scheme of things.....reliability is zero....coz in theri capacity they will try to revenge...

she is not worth it.....as for the child i have left it upto god...coz she is not presently willing to give him to me....and there is no prize to guess why she has kept him....
and i finaly want to move on....i will accept him if she wishes to give him to me....or she can keep him....at the end of the day she is the mother....the child is infant and even if i go to see him....well he will never b able to recall.....i know its a tough decision.....

Im sure its loooong n complicated but i really admire your inputs....

bunch of thanks.......if in any capacity i can help you....ill be more than happy....anytime

good to know....but at the end of the day....i dont want to live with her....its just that we dont click....living away .....as you said that she must have changed.....not a zilch....she is the same....even more stubborn ....im sure ur actually looking at the greener side.....but i dont have even a 1% hope in her....me going all the way for a sick ....irresponsible woman....sister....i dont want my sons life to be a living hell.....where as the child support is concerned....she can't demand it living from australia....as our marriage was as per muslim law in pak not in aus.... to claim the CS then she has to come to pak....which she will not do....

i have send the divorce paper almonst 2 months ago as things were not working out.....!!!