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Financial Mediation - Mandatory?

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Bluegreen View Drop Down
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  Quote Bluegreen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Financial Mediation - Mandatory?
    Posted: 19/February/2018 at 17:41
My husband and I have been married 27 yrs. I left in September. I have arranged mediation because I felt it would be easier if my husband felt listened to and part of the process. I thought if he had it pointed out by a 3rd party that raising children is counted as equal to earning income he would finally get it, because it wasn't coming from me. We have both had our separate induction meetings.

Now it's time to share the documentation before the appointment to mediate next Tuesday. He will not give me access to the documents and keeps evading my questions on the subject. I don't even know if he'll turn up!

My question is this - because there are no children involved do we have to undergo the mediation process before lawyering up and starting the court process? From my reading of the Family Court website it appears that mediation is mandatory where children are involved, but NOT when it's just property.

I can't confirm this with my lawyer as I'd have to pay just to get a yes or no.   It seems to me to be a waste of time if he won't share the financial documents. I can't negotiate if I don't have the exact figures to think about before I go.

Plus the mediator said some things to him, (according to him), that I consider to be inappropriate - as in not impartial. She's not a lawyer and cannot advise, or so I thought.

I feel like it will be a waste of time and if we don't HAVE to why bother. He's not going to cooperate until he gets letters from lawyers. And even then, who knows?

smurfergirl View Drop Down
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  Quote smurfergirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19/February/2018 at 22:27
Mediation for property is not mandatory.

I’ve been through the process and some of these mediators only get 3 days training.

My ex didn’t get the message until I took him to Court and his crazy was on show, he soon settled.

smurfergirl View Drop Down
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  Quote smurfergirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19/February/2018 at 22:28
Oh and in Family Law there must be full and frank disclosure.

Bluegreen View Drop Down
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  Quote Bluegreen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20/February/2018 at 08:54
Thanks for your reply.

I don't know what will get through to my husband. I have offered to take a third of the assets, despite 27 yrs and a legal right to 50/50, because my future prospects are better than his. That's not good enough for him, he wants to offer only a quarter. It's ridiculous,and any lawyer would tell him to snap up the offer asap, but he won't go and see a lawyer either.

Some people are their own worst enemies.

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  Quote DoogleMcFroogle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20/February/2018 at 09:34
Initiate a court application - that will get through to your husband. If settled beforehand, either through mediation or lawyers it wont have to go to court.
Chase your 50/50 as you are entitled to it.

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  Quote smurfergirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21/February/2018 at 10:14
I would at least go through the mediation process, get the lay of the land and take it from there.

I would seriously ask for 50/50, because if a property settlement is unfair to one party the courts can reject rubber stamping it.

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  Quote Bluegreen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21/February/2018 at 10:59
Thanks for the advice. I think I will go ahead with the mediation, even though I have to rely on him turning up with the documentation. I have no idea how he will handle it, but it's scheduled for next Tuesday. Wish me luck!

Luisa View Drop Down
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  Quote Luisa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21/February/2018 at 11:33
If he fails to show, that's his loss, not yours. You did your bit, he didn't, and the judge will see it that way.
And do go for the 50/50. You are entitled to it and it will give you a negotiating buffer if he produces evidence that you need to compromise. If you go for 33/66, you don't have that negotiating buffer. Always give yourself wriggle room. You are entitled to 50/50 but it also gives you wriggle room if needs must.

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  Quote Bluegreen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21/February/2018 at 11:55
Good advice, thanks.

I made the offer of 33/66 but he rejected it, so I said, okay, that figure is off the table now and we return to the 50/50 starting point.

It's a bit like negotiating with jelly because he is not consistent, contradicts himself and is all over the place. I'm fed up and we aren't even at first base!

emca01 View Drop Down
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  Quote emca01 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22/February/2018 at 07:39
so when you offered 33/66 was it via a solicitor?

If not - then do mediation.. After that get back to us... But if the last offer wasn't via a solicitor then get a solicitor to offer something close to 50/50.... with a notification that a rejection or at least a decent counter proposal will result in court application and in court you'll be going for more than 50% - without all the details it is hard to guess what a court might do...
So by the sounds of things you might have an inheritance in the future? That wont be factored in NOW. So half your luck and more reason for him to come to the table to accept an offer closer to the 33% you first stated you'd accept

Bluegreen View Drop Down
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  Quote Bluegreen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22/February/2018 at 09:09
No, I didn't make the offer via a solicitor. I thought I'd try and get it done informally, save us both on legal costs and stress. And I do anticipate an inheritance in the future, which is why I was prepared to take less. Seemed fair. But ....off to mediation we go, and thanks for the good advice.   

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