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11 yr old refusing to visit

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jman View Drop Down

Joined: 09/November/2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 1
  Quote jman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: 11 yr old refusing to visit
    Posted: 09/November/2017 at 19:46
Hello.. my 11 yr old son currently lives with his Grandmother. He is due to have his fortnightly visit with me this weekend. I recieved a message saying he does not want to come for a while. I was able to speak to him briefly and went through a range of possible reasons why he wouldn't want to come. He said he'd let me know via letter.

It's very distressing. There is a court order in place which stipulates the time I have him. Can I enforce this?? I realise ot could result in my son becoming further detached.. but from a legal standpoint can he be forced to come?

citizen-joe View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member

Joined: 09/October/2005
Location: Australia
Posts: 674
  Quote citizen-joe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/November/2017 at 22:18
It is the child who is awarded access to the parent not the other way around, however being a parent who has been in this position I can understand how distressed this must make you feel.

In my case I tried to accept this, I kept the door open to my son, always continued to invite him to special outings, a few he accepted most he didn't, it was only when he became an adult and aged 25 did he start popping in now and again.

Now when aged 48 I see him just a regularly as I see my daughters, which is quite regularly.

rannii View Drop Down
Legal Guru
Legal Guru

Joined: 25/May/2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 1136
  Quote rannii Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/November/2017 at 23:55
From my understanding as the custodial parent - I have to do everything in my power to ensure my children see their father.

As explained to me, I am the parent and I need to ensure the child follows them. It's the law that the children go to school - so I need to ensure they attend even when they don't want to. The court orders are laws myself and the children are bound by.

I would be speaking to the custodial guardian and suggest they encourage the visit. To manage any upset to your relationship due to the "forced" visit - be happy to suggest a
Shorter time frame.

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