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Wife wont let me see my child

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dad44 View Drop Down
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Joined: 14/October/2017
Location: Australia
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  Quote dad44 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Wife wont let me see my child
    Posted: 14/October/2017 at 09:10
I have been separated from my wife since her leaving 11 months ago. She is living in another state. She won't let me spend any time with my daughter. I have attempted every possible free negotiation and she has avoided them (why would she want to change anything).

My legal counsel have asked for $5000 to pursue things in court. It really should be pretty open and shut if we get there but I can't afford that.

I just want to see my daughter. She really wants to see me. That is what she tells me during our Skype calls of which we have 3 a week. Her mother has allowed me to visit her 4 times in the past 11 months. Each time she has insisted that it be supervised (treating me like a criminal). The visits have lasted 2 hours. I have had to travel over 6 hours to make these visits. When I asked for more time and no supervision, I was told that I could not see her under any other arrangement.

HELP! I want to see my daughter.

Sad Dad

citizen-joe View Drop Down
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  Quote citizen-joe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14/October/2017 at 18:08
How old is your daughter? Does you wife have a reason for requiring supervised visits? Is there something you have not told us?

Can you give some background to the breakup and her move away?

emca01 View Drop Down
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  Quote emca01 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15/October/2017 at 09:13
yup more info needed... Age of the child..
Look mate it could be as simple as her wanting to make sure you don't take the kid and do to her exactly what she is doing to you...

You could write to her and offer consent orders that provide for an enforcable agreement pertaining to the children. You could even offer to pay the expenses in getting such an arrangement written up IF she were prepared to be co-operative... (the expenses are not that huge if you're just talking about children's matters and not assets. But the more info you provide here the better

dad44 View Drop Down
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  Quote dad44 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15/October/2017 at 21:02
Hi guys,
Yep. There is more to the story. I am definitely not hiding anything. Very new to this and unsure as to how much I should share. I am very happy to share as I believe my daughter has rights and they are not being met.
My wife filed for an AVO which I did not contest. This was a domestic violence order that is up for review in January. There is no evidence of domestic violence in our relationship but I did hit my wife on more than one occasion during our marriage of nearly 7 years. While I don't believe she feared for her life or safety, I certainly understand that my behaviour was grossly inappropriate. I have been in counselling since she left and it is the opinion of my therapist that the issue was our relationship rather than an inherent problem with my attitude towards women or violence in general. The supervision during visits has nothing to do with the order. It is something that she insists on for her own reasons. I believe it is so she can control the situation. I have never given any hint of abducting my daughter. I wrote to her a month after she left me and told her that I believe our daughter should be with her mother and that I wanted to be the best father to her that I can be in the situation. I heard nothing back.

My ex-wife has claimed that my daughter is scared of me. This is completely unfounded and her story moved from my wife claiming her own fear of me, to my daughter. To me, this seems like she is just stalling her way in order to keep things the way she wants them. This was certainly the pattern established in our marriage.

I organised two mediation sessions that she agreed to and did not attend. She has not spoken to me since leaving and will only do so in organising time with my daughter. In the last month, she has since refused to allow me to see my daughter at all and instructed me to contact her lawyer. Her terms insist that I complete courses to manage and deal with my domestic violence issues, depression and a cocktail of other things she has diagnosed. Some of these courses are only run in Queensland. She then states that she will only consider changing the time I have with my daughter once I have completed her checklist. This is not a legal contract she has organised. It is her word on the line which she has broken three times since leaving (including the missed mediation sessions).

Happy to give more details. Thanks for your time.

dad44 View Drop Down
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  Quote dad44 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15/October/2017 at 21:03
Sorry. My daughter is 5 years old. She has just started school in Queensland.

citizen-joe View Drop Down
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  Quote citizen-joe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16/October/2017 at 02:01
Thanks, not an unusual scenario in a domestic violence situation.

I agree your daughter has rights to see her father on a regular basis, moving interstate is an impediment to that happening. Did you agree to this interstate move?

I believe that you should start a process through the family court for a more appropriate system of visitation, for example every second weekend, if your work arrangements permit this. You could also request the return of your child to your state if you did not agree to her being moved interstate.

Others more skilled in these type of cases will probably advise the best methods to proceed.

dad44 View Drop Down
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  Quote dad44 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16/October/2017 at 07:25
Thanks for your reply. Seems that I have no options to get her back other than to pay thousands of dollars. That blows me away... what if I can't afford that?

I didn't go to court to force her to return. Again, that would have cost money which I didn't have at the time and I could not have predicted that she would not let me see my daughter.

I can't believe that there is nothing on her to provide the right thing for our daughter.

Thanks for your time :)

rannii View Drop Down
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Joined: 25/May/2013
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  Quote rannii Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16/October/2017 at 09:13
There is the court system.   And you can self represent which doesnt cost thousands of dollars.

The courts have a bias towards ensuring kids spend time with both parents - so they are on your side

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